Tesco's work plastic fashion

I couldn't be bothered to go home, grab my stuff for the next working day and face feeling bad about spending another night away from my house and housemates so I went to Tesco. I went to buy dinner for two and to look in the department named 'Clothes', not 'fashion'. I wanted to see if I could avoid wearing the same thing to work two days running. It was a poor choice of shapeless t-shirts (short but wide), vests (gaping under the armpits) and knitwear and polyester high-wasted, low-rise trousers in the light grey usually reserved for men's clarkes shoes so I was in the process of giving up. I spotted a pair of pinstripe trousers on my way back down the aisle towards the safer bet - food - they were ok, wearable for work and for £10...'100% recycled plastic bottles'. Made from...'100% recycled plastic bottles. Amazing! http://www.eartheasy.com/wear_ecospun.htm On the downside, how eco-friendly is this process? Round and round and round and round we go...

Clingfilm

'Multi-purpose clingfilm' ... ?

Beehive Emphysema

Having bandied potential reasons around as to why Amy Winehouse might have contracted emphysema (before we found out that she doesn't in fact have it) - the usual: smoking, smoking crack, sleeping in your own sick (?), one soul finally piped up with 'hairspray'...we googled it and you can indeed contract serious respiratory diseases from excessive exposure to hairspray. Whoever said hairdressing wasn't a dangerous career...

Giddy

I went to view a garden last night, a very big very beautiful garden in the grounds of a great big house. The "conservatory" alone could seat 50 people for dinner. On the tour were the garden designer (beige chinos, white shirt, navy blazer, gold buttons), the gardener (jeans, brown wax jacket, long ginger hair, beard, bottle of beer) and the interior designer (long slick hair, fitted tweed suit - for the country). It's important to understand the relationship between the interior and exterior living spaces. Also on the tour were hoity toity, airy fairy women and their long-suffering husbands. One woman had taken advantage of the champagne and was loving the sound of her own voice. Her orange pashmina wafted around her in the wind as she pawed at the designer and siphoned him off from the group. She was boasting, 'I've got trees...an orchard...yes and I've just taken a cutting of...' She didn't draw breath and presented the crowning glory ... 'and I've got horses...'

'Haven't we all!' Guffawed the garden designer!

Hey fever!

Hi Pollen Count!

Spring's answer to the Seven Dwarfs...

sneezy

coughy

drowsy

itchy

puffy
snotty
grumpy

visit from the neighbours

The first all-english champions league final brought my neighbours to the door. I'd never met them but had heard them banging and seen their fires in the yard. Two boys (late 20s) were dressed like overgrown schoolchildren, white short-sleeved shirts and grey trousers. They seemed to have taken their ties off and started to play 'knock n run'...except they were probably never wearing ties and they didn't run, just knocked and rang the bell until I got out of bed, grabbed a hoody and my keys and went downstairs. They said 'sorry' and then 'hello' and then, 'why weren't we out for the football', 'had we stayed in and eaten pizza, drank beer and watched a movie', 'footloose?' Eventually my housemate (who had accused one of them of being a heroin addict two weeks before) appeared at the top of stairs and shouted, 'it's five in the morning!' Oh my god, I had thought it was early but maybe 6:30ish so I politely told them that I had to work so I was going back to bed, one of them kissed my hand and I shut the door.