Beehive Emphysema

Having bandied potential reasons around as to why Amy Winehouse might have contracted emphysema (before we found out that she doesn't in fact have it) - the usual: smoking, smoking crack, sleeping in your own sick (?), one soul finally piped up with 'hairspray'...we googled it and you can indeed contract serious respiratory diseases from excessive exposure to hairspray. Whoever said hairdressing wasn't a dangerous career...

Giddy

I went to view a garden last night, a very big very beautiful garden in the grounds of a great big house. The "conservatory" alone could seat 50 people for dinner. On the tour were the garden designer (beige chinos, white shirt, navy blazer, gold buttons), the gardener (jeans, brown wax jacket, long ginger hair, beard, bottle of beer) and the interior designer (long slick hair, fitted tweed suit - for the country). It's important to understand the relationship between the interior and exterior living spaces. Also on the tour were hoity toity, airy fairy women and their long-suffering husbands. One woman had taken advantage of the champagne and was loving the sound of her own voice. Her orange pashmina wafted around her in the wind as she pawed at the designer and siphoned him off from the group. She was boasting, 'I've got trees...an orchard...yes and I've just taken a cutting of...' She didn't draw breath and presented the crowning glory ... 'and I've got horses...'

'Haven't we all!' Guffawed the garden designer!